I grew up on stage. I had no problem upstaging leads, singer louder than the person next to me, dancing my heart out or playing instruments for packed theaters and football fields. I had confidence… almost arrogance in my entertaining abilities. Performing was a rush and it made me the outgoing person I am today. But when the lights were off and the curtain was down, I’d rather be alone. My need for solitude only grew stronger as I got older, but I don’t look at this as a negative. I embrace it because it’s who I am and I don’t want to violate my natural rhythm.
It’s a common misconception that introverts are shy people. Sure, some of them can be, but I think, especially in my case, we’re just private and recharge our energy by being alone. I love being around people, but I find that my energy is drained afterwards. An extrovert would be the opposite; they gather their energy from being around others. Introverts have no problem doing things alone, and even in their solitude, they don’t feel lonely. I quite enjoy my own company and there are only a handful of people with similar energy that I can share my time with and enjoy it. It’s something I won’t apologize for.
The problem with being an outgoing introvert is… most people don’t understand you and won’t really take the time to, either. I get a lot of backlash, especially from family and very much so from an ex-boyfriend and his family. My door is always open, but I don’t like being bombarded. My choice to not be around people 24/7 is not from a lack of love for them, it’s literally because it feels like a sensory overload. An introvert is very sensitive to the energy of others, almost like the way an empath would be. Most of us have a carefully selected tribe and are very wary of new people, not because we don’t like making new friends, but because we’re careful to not bring the wrong energy into our lives.
It’s important to be honest about your personality type. “I love being around people, but I need a lot of me-time”. I have no problem telling people that they’re driving me up a wall. When I started dating someone new, I was honest about my need to sometimes disappear into another room. It’s not because I don’t want to be around them, it’s because my energy is low and I like recharging it with just me, myself, and I. When it comes down to it, I don’t ever want someone to take it personally when I hole myself up at home or leave the room at a party. An outgoing introvert just wants to honor their own, quirky rhythm so that we remain happy, energized, and levelheaded. It’s a delicate balance for us.
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Aww, such a wonderful post! I also consider myself and introvert, and you’ve quite right about privacy and recharging the energy by being alone. That’s how it is. Thank you for sharing it! <3
Cheers, Eliza | http://www.fashion-confession.com
There are all types of personalities that is for sure. I am not around people all the time either. However my daughter is always around people. As long as you are happy that is the main thing I believe.
I completely understand, I don’t mind being around people, but when I am done I am done. Sometimes I just don’t want to even leave the house. Everyone needs some me time, no matter how much we like being around others.
I think this is me. I like being around people and socializing, but some quiet alone time is soooo nice! I also do not need or want to ever be the center of attention. My husband says I am a low key extrovert.
I’ve learned as I get older I like quiet time alone. People think I’m being rude or selfish but sometimes i just need to recenter myself.
That’s an interesting way to describe yourself. But I can see many of those traits in myself. Need to have some “me” time daily!
I like the explanation linked to energy. That is an easy way for people to understand and relate to what you are saying.
I love that you are able tot honor yourself and really let people know who you are. I am no t an extrovert but also not sure I am an introvert. Hmmm….I need to think about things.
I relate to this very much! I absolutely LOVE people but they drain me! Physically and emotionally. I need to hide away to recharge like you said. That actually makes parenting a little challenging, because my two little dudes don’t understand that mommy needs that recharge time!
I can totally and absolutely relate. When I confess that I am an introvert, people don’t seem to believe me because I have an outgoing tendency (sometimes) in (certain) social situations.
THIS- everything about this. Have we met, because I feel like you know me? After a busy week I often tell my husband I need to be alone for a few because I have a ‘people hangover.’ He gives me the space but I’m not always sure he understands. Thank you for sharing something so personal and pertinent.
I relate to this post SO much! I also have a background in performance and love going out and socializing but people sometimes don’t understand that in order to be able to do all those things I need at least one night a week at home alone. Sometimes when I come home from work I need to lock myself in a quiet room for half an hour to decompress and recharge but I’ve also found that being honest about that is key to helping people understand.
I was an introvert during my teen days but as I joined my Business school, I became an extrovert. I completely agree with you that it is very important to tell your loved ones about your personality traits so that it won’t hurt anyone by your gestures!
I love how you explained this! I used to associate introverts with being shy too but in a book realized that’s not what it means. I don’t know a lot of outgoing introverts (besides my mom, and she’s a great example for me to understand). I think I grew up an extrovert but am becoming more introverted. Is that possible? haha