Keeping Your Identity in a Relationship
Itâ€™s easy to lose ourselves. I lost myself at my job in Los Angeles. Everything that made me fun, everything that was important to me changed. Becoming a shell of yourself can happen easily and itâ€™s also kind of sneaky. I woke up one morning and realized that I was a different person. I had no idea who I was any more. Itâ€™s not just your career that can do this to you, either.
Recently, I had the realization that I am no longer comfortable doing things by myself. I always want my boyfriend to do things with me and tag along on excursions that arenâ€™t really his thing. There is nothing wrong with togetherness, Iâ€™m all for it, the problem is, limiting â€œmeâ€ time and becoming dependent on having your significant other around. As someone who is super independent, I am quickly becoming guilty as charged. I should be comfortable getting up on a Sunday to hit yoga and meditation by myself, but why canâ€™t I? Itâ€™s a block Iâ€™ve put on myself.
Iâ€™m lucky that my boyfriend is also my best friend. We can do anything and everything together, have loads of laughs, and are each otherâ€™s shoulders to cry on. We have an amazing relationship, but we are two separate people. Weâ€™re different people. Of course we have similar interests, but we shouldnâ€™t set aside our individuality for each other. We should be able to take time a part because honestly, all relationships need that. Â Â Â Â That time a part is what keeps your identityâ€¦ the whole reason youâ€™re together to begin with. That individuality makes you the perfect fit puzzle pieces that you are.
Take a look at your relationship. Do you feel like you donâ€™t do a lot of the things you used to do for yourself? Do you put all of your time into the other person and neglect quality alone time? Itâ€™s easy to make little changes to your days to keep a good relationship/self balance. If you want to go to a painting class one night, thatâ€™s a prime opportunity for your significant other to have â€œmeâ€ time in your absence, too. Everyone wins. Think about little ways you can put some focus back on your personal identities in the relationship.
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