Keeping Your Identity in a RelationshipIt’s easy to lose ourselves. I lost myself at my job in Los Angeles. Everything that made me fun, everything that was important to me changed. Becoming a shell of yourself can happen easily and it’s also kind of sneaky. I woke up one morning and realized that I was a different person. I had no idea who I was any more. It’s not just your career that can do this to you, either.

Recently, I had the realization that I am no longer comfortable doing things by myself. I always want my boyfriend to do things with me and tag along on excursions that aren’t really his thing. There is nothing wrong with togetherness, I’m all for it, the problem is, limiting “me” time and becoming dependent on having your significant other around. As someone who is super independent, I am quickly becoming guilty as charged. I should be comfortable getting up on a Sunday to hit yoga and meditation by myself, but why can’t I? It’s a block I’ve put on myself.

I’m lucky that my boyfriend is also my best friend. We can do anything and everything together, have loads of laughs, and are each other’s shoulders to cry on. We have an amazing relationship, but we are two separate people. We’re different people. Of course we have similar interests, but we shouldn’t set aside our individuality for each other. We should be able to take time a part because honestly, all relationships need that.      That time a part is what keeps your identity… the whole reason you’re together to begin with. That individuality makes you the perfect fit puzzle pieces that you are.

Take a look at your relationship. Do you feel like you don’t do a lot of the things you used to do for yourself? Do you put all of your time into the other person and neglect quality alone time? It’s easy to make little changes to your days to keep a good relationship/self balance. If you want to go to a painting class one night, that’s a prime opportunity for your significant other to have “me” time in your absence, too. Everyone wins. Think about little ways you can put some focus back on your personal identities in the relationship.