25 Feb The Delicate Art of Starting Again
At only 30 years old, I think I’ve started over and again with most things in life…. friendships, self-love, weightloss, love and romance, jobs… How I’ve navigated each new start has drastically changed as I’ve gotten older. We must realize that life is a journey in which we are meant to learn lessons; we will inevitably pick up baggage too, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. I also believe that loss and drastic change is the Universe’s way of making room for something sublimely awesome. So, when you feel like you’ve lost your marbles, it’s just he universe is shuffling the way you process thought, your core values, and your understanding of what you THINK life is and should be. While it’s ok to fall apart and truly feel your feelings, the delicate art of starting again is being gentle with yourself and knowing that a bigger blessing is coming into your life.
Hindsight is a beautiful thing. We think we want what we have until we are forced to live life without it for a period of time. The realization that something wasn’t satisfying, will set you free. I feel strongly about this concept for relationships in particular, because I learned so much from a failed 5-year relationship, myself. If you’re miserable, take a break. If you find that you’re happier by yourself than with that person, you have your answer. Being comfortable is the worst excuse for enduring misery. Initial discomfort from change will be far less painful than a lifetime of “what ifs” and not receiving what you need. Walking away is braver than staying in anything that doesn’t serve you.
I find that many people get stuck in their ways. When you’re unwilling to embrace change, life seems to be even harder. If we start to embrace that we–our souls and the world around us are constantly evolving, and we must also do the same, we will navigate change and start again with much more ease. When you’re experiencing a lot of resistance, it’s not meant to be. We are conditioned to be persistent and unrelenting– to not be quitters. But, there is nothing wrong with changing course, in fact, I think it is the bravest thing a person can do. Beating your head against a wall hurts, so why would you continue to do it?
Firstly, I want everyone to let go of the judgement of others as to why they won’t allow themselves to change course and start again. We are permitted one life and you better live it for yourself and no one else. I stood in those shoes, afraid to go after what I really wanted in life because of what other people might thing. The day I let that go, is the day I started living, and subsequently, my life got happier, healthier, and prosperous. Saying “eff it” to what the people around you think, is by far, the most important step to starting again. You need to do what you need to do. Period.
You also need to take time for yourself. Inevitably, you will have many thoughts and emotions that you need to work through and to do that, you may have to disconnect. This time is not to wallow in sadness, it is to truly search inside yourself for answers. What do you want in life? What can I do to change this? What would make me truly happy? Self-reflection is key. This stops us from repeating the same mistakes over and over. We have to know ourselves and be happy with ourselves before we can have good relationships with others.
Do what feels right. I think I got a lot of judgement for starting a new relationship 2 months after ending a long-term relationship. He’s also 20 years older than I am, but that’s a story for another blog. I don’t have to think that I was judged, I know I was, but I wasn’t expecting it to happen and it felt right, so I went with it. When it comes to logic, we rely a lot on our thoughts… our brains. When it comes to our lives, I think we should start leaning toward what the heart wants and needs. If quitting your corporate job to start an art gallery is what feels right, do it.
Starting again is scary, but worth it every time. I always tell people, “You are not stuck, because you are not a tree.” This means, you have the ability to get up and move and do something whenever you feel like it, so don’t let fear or judgement hold you back. The most beautiful souls are the ones that have been beaten down, learned to adapt and change, and persevered. When it comes down to it, embrace your new start with open arms; it’s your opportunity to get what you really want, do it better, and achieve your wildest dreams.
So, when you find yourself at a fork in the road, don’t fret. If you don’t like the path you’ve chosen, turn around and take the other. Life isn’t that hard to navigate if you’re connected to yourself and your desires. Enjoy the journey.
“Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly”
This #BloggersTalkingAbout series features amazing bloggers writing from the heart. Continue reading more by following these links. Starting Over by Joanne | Starting Again by Jenny | When It’s Time To Start Again by Traci | Making Mistakes by Karen | Starting Over by Alicia | Crafty Me by Karen | The Delicate Art Of Starting Again by Nikki | Starting Over by Brandy | Starting Over by Wendy | If you’re a mom/female blogger, join us in our group, Bodacious Bloggers.
Need some more inspiration? Check out some of my personal development videos on navigating feelings, healing old wounds, and moving on in life. xoxo Nikki