Mastering the Art of the Tap Out: A Lesson in Self-Care, Mental Clarity, and a Strategy for Life
Summer of 2017 was rough for me. I was going through a mild bought of depression, I felt burnt out, and I felt like my hard work was not getting me any where. I was in a pissy mood A LOT, which is not like me. I couldn’t sleep. I didn’t have the motivation to workout. I was falling out of love with myself… I was spiraling downward in every aspect of my life. That’s when I tapped out and I’m here today to explain why you’re allowed to tap out too.
Little things tend to pile up on us and by the time we do noticed, we’re buried in them. Between day jobs, personal life, other goals, and whatever else you have in your life, you have A LOT going on. You’re spinning a lot of plates at all times, so it’s only natural for us to have to go to the sidelines for a new game plan sometimes. What stops us from doing this? Our own egos telling us that we just need to push through and a lot of times we allow other people to influence how we do or don’t handle life’s curveballs.
But, I’m here to tell you that it’s ok to tap out and you’re allowed to tap out. I went about 2-3 months without writing blogs, forcing myself to go out and experience life, and just do me. I was able to rejuvenate myself and breathe new life into my businesses. I also found Pole Dancing in this down time and I’ve continued to do it as my workout/outlet. I think the most important and pivotal thing that happened, though, was my realization that I can make a plan and adjust it as life changes. Part of my breakdown came because of how rigid I am with myself. Yes, I have a ton of projects going on at all times, but they don’t all have to happen right now.
This advice isn’t just for the girl boss, it’s for anyone that has a lot going on. Maybe you’re a mom that hasn’t been taking time for herself or her marriage. I know your child is your world, but you were here before the child and so was your husband. You are allowed to tap out (drop the kid off at Grandma’s) and take time for you and your relationships. Call up your girlfriends for a cocktail/vent session. Holding in whatever is plaguing you is not healthy. Ever. Mastering the art of the tap out is mastering the art of self-care.
We have to learn to be strong enough to take a step back and just STOP. Why did I use the word “strong” enough and not “smart” enough? Because we KNOW when we’re not in a good place and we KNOW when we should just stop, but it is our personal strength that leads us to the tap out. This means we’ve stopped listening to influences around us and listened to ourselves for once.
I started to feel a little out of control again this past week and my Nana said the most wonderful thing to me when I was telling her about everything that was going on… “You’re allowed days when you do nothing.” I will admit, that first day, I gave myself an anxiety attack because I was thinking about all the things I could be doing. But, I kept thinking about her saying this to me and eventually, I just tapped out for a bit. I went outside. I grabbed coffee. And in those moments where I was just enjoying life and wasn’t worried, inspiration struck and here I am today… recharged and motivated. These are the moment you’re able to come up with a new strategy for a happier, healthier, stress-free life.
There are times when your tap out will be permanent– like leaving a job or a bad relationship. But, make sure your tap out isn’t you giving up on dreams or life. Take the opportunity for what it is — self care and strategy. Please allow yourself to tap out when you need to. There’s nothing wrong it.